The University of York Rugby Union Football Club

University of York Men’s 2nd XV 23 – 21 Sheffield University Men’s 3rd XV

Today two mighty teams clashed, only one could win, only one could have a chance of promotion. In such a tight game, ultimately, the team who wanted it more got the all important points in a highly competitive league.

Starting off a little over-exuberant following a powerful pre-match talk from the Captain, York were deemed off-side from the kick-off. Indeed the first ten minutes were trying times for the boys in black and yellow where they conceded 6 points as our scrum was uncharacteristically being driven backwards due to the absence of the 2nd XV’s usually clinical, but presently absent props: Wissen, Sheperd and Bradley. Finding themselves on their lines, a heavily under pressure Woody delivered Mortimer a very un-tidy ball, but showing why he has earned himself the nickname ‘the cucumber’ amongst the 2nd XV, Morty calmly observed the Sheffield flankers hurtling towards him and with more professionalism than RM nailing a bottle of wine he spiral kicked the ball into touch and defended fortress York. Following an accurate kicking game from the Sheffield 10 and a few spilt high balls from the backs, Sheffield again had a good attacking platform. However it wasn’t too long before the York backs received some clean ball and were given an opportunity to show their class, and when York were awarded a penalty 10 metres from the line, the inevitable happened and Mortimer collected 3 points.

The backs were on flying form and were implementing some well drilled moves all over the park, and when a miss pass was thrown and popped back inside Usain ‘Gabriel’ Bolt went through the gap and was brought down just 15 metres from the Sheffield try line unfortunately knocking it on. Woody now got vengeance on his opposite number who had been hassling him and totally wrapped him up. The York line out was also strangely misfiring as the ever steadfast Garmston saw the refer take a real disliking to him and continually award his pin-point throwing “not straight”. However off the top of a clear line out Morrison threw a great dummy and executed a good step, with dreams of being a back becoming far too much for him he chipped ahead, fortunately the Sheffield 15 was tackled back over the line by Crosse to give a York scrum. Again however, the lack of specialist props saw York driven off the ball and prevented what would normally have seen Tate crashing over the line from 5 metres out. Instead the game had a brief spell of ping-pong kicks before Pollen eventually decided enough was enough and challenged for his own kick resulting in a huge collision and the Sheffield 15 limping from the field. Following a period of phenomenal forwards play in the loose, York were awarded a penalty which Mortimer duly slotted around the 30 minute mark. The man to watch in the showers, ‘bummer’ Morris had been having a great attacking game and again made a break earning York a line out deep into Sheffield territory. Unfortunately the referee’s half time whistle saved the over-stretched Sheffield defensive line. This ended the half six points all.

With the arrival of the enigma, Phil Johnson (author of the match reports) the second half started with a bang, and following a great break from Pollen who was causing mayhem for the Sheffield defence all day, he was able to find support runner and general pace man T-Bag (Terrager) who scored in the corner around the 45 minute mark. The phenom Morts had no trouble getting the kick from the corner despite Bott bringing him “the wrong fucking cone!!” – Mortimer was on the war path all day, and perhaps filling in for the absent Loose Cannon, was on a homicidal mission – fortunately Bott was able to escape to the safety of the touch line. Finding ourselves in the Sheffield 22 again Morty was able to slot a drop goal, albeit second time lucky showing both his human side through an error, and his balls of steel by doing it again. Sheffield now really showed their class and with just eight minutes left on the clock they were able to score a converted try giving Sheffield a 2 point lead 18-16.

Yet with a bit of a reshuffle at the scrum it had become a weapon rather than a problem, and the York backs had come to terms with the Sheffield kicking game. Indeed things given the knowledge that York posses the best backs in the league things were still very much positive in the York ranks. Yet with just 6 minutes to go Sheffield were awarded another penalty on the half way line which their ten kicked meaning York had to get a converted try to win. It was then that an unsuspected man stepped forward from the York ranks, Sam Carr-Archer confidently declaring we will win this so let’s get back up there and do it. It was with 4 minutes left that the referee awarded York a penalty for holding on, and substitute Mini-Ash, the second darkest man in York, clearly having consulted his evil leader the night before, found his way to the ball, did an illegal tap and go (luckily missed by the ref) ignored the overlap to his left hand side and went right with the ringing voices of his fellow forwards emerging from the ruck bellowing ‘MASH NO!!’.

Unbelievably it worked, Mash found Gabriel, Gabriel ‘caught the ball’, and having done that the rest of the team were able to celebrate, he gassed his opposite number, and despite flirting dangerously with the dead ball line scored behind the posts. The drama was not yet over though, time was still left on the clock and York only lead by two points. In the final play of the game Sheffield were given a suspect penalty on the half way line, everyone stood watching the Sheffield ten and as the kick went wide a huge roar erupted from behind the posts. A slightly over-exuberant Johnson, relishing his game time after 8 weeks off, fired champagne all over the changing room and the bumblebees partied as if they had won the league! Heads need screwing back on come Wednesday though as York 2nds face a much improved Newcastle in another must win game.

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